The Waiting Game

I'm sure many of you can relate to impatience. I was the kid who asked are we there yet 100 times in a 2 hour trip, that woke up at 5am on Christmas morning, always looking at the clock to see how much longer until something. God bless my parents for putting up with my prattling, questioning, and whining for the majority of my life.
I would like to say that my impatience died down in adulthood, but it has only continued. The past two years I've been lucky enough to get a dog for Christmas. Technically, I got them before Christmas, but B claimed they were my Christmas gift. Even though I knew I was getting them... but that is neither here nor there. Basically, when I want something I am terrible at waiting. When we were going to get our first dog, I made a paper chain to count down, with the second one I had a countdown on my phone that told me how many days. The bottom line? I hate waiting, and throughout this process, I feel like there is a lot of waiting, and the worst is yet to come. I mean I struggled to with the length of the previews during the Harry Potter movie.
I have spent a great deal of my life looking forward to see the big picture, and right now it's a pretty massive photo, and I want it to develop, bad. During this process it seems you are always either waiting for an appointment, a doctor to call, test results, or a document to be completed. Those are the little things to wait for, after all of that we still have to wait for the IVF cycle to start, for retrieval, transfer, two weeks until a pregnancy test, and then obviously the duration of the pregnancy for our baby. That is asking a lot of me, and right now we are stuck in the thick of it.
This week has what I will call the trifecta of waiting. We are waiting for a draft of our contract, negotiations to start with our surrogate, test results for me (gotta see if my .3 went up), and an appointment with NW on the 17th. That's a whole lot of information to find out in just a few days.
Today I had more blood word done (at the end of this, I'm going to have track marks!), the results of the blood work will give the doctor a good idea of how many eggs they can expect to get from me, how much of each drug I will need, and basically the overall success of this endeavor. No big deal, just my future. One of the test is for my AMH, which was super low, so I am hoping by going off the pill that it has climbed back up to where it should be. They only run the AMH test on Thursdays, so I have to wait until Friday to hear the final result.  I should note that we are still going through the process if my AMH hasn't changed, it just means that they won't get too many eggs from me.
Then sometime this week we will be getting the first draft of our contract to review, and send it over to our SM lawyer to review it with her, they will make their changes, and send it back for approval. I hope that happens sooner rather than later because to quote our surrogate "I can handle the painful shots, the horrendous pain of childbirth, but this legal stuff makes me cringe." Amen sister. After all of that, we wait to meet with NW in two weeks to get everything coordinated, and for our education class, which is a fancy term for how to give shots. Then more waiting, and the vicious cycle continues.
It's one thing to wait when you know the destination, and you are certain about the outcome. It is another to wait in uncertainty. Although we know that someday we will have a baby there is more that is uncertain, than certain right now, and that is the difficult part. It is my biggest struggle so far, and it's a very uncomfortable experience for me. Especially because B is very much go with the flow, so he doesn't quite understand the emotions I am experiencing. I know it will be over soon (at least this week) and that will help. In the meantime, your thoughts as prayers are appreciated as we go through more of this process, and we will wait with our fingers crossed to keep this thing rolling!